


Summer Heat

by cloudsarefluffy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alpha Castiel, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Humor, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bastard John Winchester, Bonding, Broken Dean, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Childhood Trauma, Comfort/Angst, Complete, Dark Past, Familial Abuse, Fluff and Angst, I'm Going to Hell, John Winchester's Bad Parenting, Kind of a slow build, M/M, Mates, Mating, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Memory Loss, Memory Related, Mpreg, Omega Dean, Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Child Abuse, Past Violence, Physical Abuse, Protective Castiel, Psychological Trauma, Sexual Assault, Single Parents, Smut, Sorry Not Sorry, Violence, god im going to hell with Adam for this, runaway child, updated daily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-26 16:43:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/968240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudsarefluffy/pseuds/cloudsarefluffy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester, an omega, is only in Lawrence to bury his shit father and leave. What he doesn't expect, is to find himself running into someone he used to know and is one of the very good things he can remember from being a kid. As the past reasserts itself, so do feelings and thoughts Dean's never imagined himself to feel before. </p><p>(THIS CONTAINS SOME GRAPHIC THINGS: PAST CHILD ABUSE, PAST ALCOHOLISM, MENTIONS OF PAST ABUSE, SEXISM (BARELY BUT W/ OMEGA STUFF), COPING MECHANISMS (FORCED MEMORY REJECTION), AND A RUNAWAY CHILD.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is now COMPLETE BITCHES.  
> COMPLETE WITH ANGST AND PAIN AND ALL OF THAT GOOD ASS SHIT.
> 
> (Sorry not sorry.)  
> Plus there is fluff and smut so I make up for it- good luck motherfuckers.
> 
> *goes to hell with Adam*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ch. should now be clear of grammar/spelling errors.  
> IF YOU FIND ONE- PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT OR THINGY POINTING IT OUT AND I WILL FIX IT!  
> -PLEASE INCLUDE THE SENTENCE SO I KNOW WHERE TO LOOK, THIS SHIT'S ANNOYING AND MAKES MY HEAD HURT, BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS SO I DO IT FOR LOVE.-
> 
> Also:
> 
> Thank you to whoever put this on the official (well, our official) Destiel fic website as a recommendation- I thank you for getting my work on there!

  
  


* * *

 

 

The letters on the sign are clear: _Lawrence, Kansas._  


Dean Winchester hasn't seen this sign in fifteen years, and as the cracked words come into his view, he feels his grip on the wheel tighten. He only notices how hard he's wrapped his hands on the worn leather until his knuckles pop with the pressure and strain. The last time he was here, he was eight, a backpack on his spine with all of his belongings stuffed into it as it bumped against his back as he ran. Drops of dew from the summer night collecting on the bottom hem of his jeans as he ran away. It's been a long time, and Dean wishes it stayed that way. As the Impala's engine roars forward down the faded asphalt, Dean remembers why he's here.

His father, John, is dying.

Overall, Dean doesn't want to come back, doesn't want to relive the moments of his life that caused him to abandon his childhood town. His father was abusive, always insulting Dean for being an omega.

" _Never useful_ ," he'd slur after a slap or sip of his beer, "  _just a slut who wants a knot every month_."

The words stung and hurt, but not as much as the nights when Dean thought he'd die or be beaten to the point he couldn't walk or live anymore. Too many days were spent cooped up in a house with ice packs to his swollen skin and tears streaking his cheeks. Too many empty beer bottles lying around with John's filthy existence and Dean having to function in it all. It was an awful childhood, one Dean preferred to keep far from his mind and behind him.

He was here for business, and that's all. The business of death and nothing more.

He was going to bury his father, and leave town before anyone knew he was here. Dean knew he was going to be swamped with questions as to why he ran away, as to why he never came back when he was older and he could stand up legally to John if he chose to. But Dean didn't want to see them or answers their questions- so skipping town as soon as the funeral was over was his safest bet to make.

He drove up to the small square, the buildings and businesses surrounding him the same as when he left. Sure, there was now grass growing out of some of the concrete's cracks and some buildings needed some renovation- but it was mostly unchanged. Dean just had to get to the hospital- to the funeral. That was all.

The hospital was worn down, small, and needed to honestly be demolished. The stains on the brick stared at Dean as he rode up, his Impala jutting out of the common arrangement of cars like a sore thumb as he parked. Dean walked in, the combination of questionable bodily fluids and cleaners assaulting his nose and making his stomach churn, doctors passing by as if he didn't exist.

Right now, the paper with John's room number felt like a weight that was lit on fire in the denim pocket of Dean's pants.

As Dean entered the room with John inside, he saw how much the decade and a half did to his father. Karma apparently took it's toll, along with his serious drinking problems, as his aged skin acquired a tint of something close to a watery mustard. Liver failure, the doctor had told Dean over the phone a few days prior. John deserves it. Not only for abusing the bottle, but his own flesh and blood for being an omega.

The doctor walks in, "You must be Dean Winchester."

"I am."

"You are aware of the arrangements?"

Dean shrugs, his cold hatred for his father seeping into his tone towards the doctor, "John's almost as dead as a door nail- what else is there to be aware of?"

The missing term of father doesn't go unnoticed, but instead acknowledged and restrained, "There's going to be a priest to come bless him, and then you can take it up with the morgue and funeral home about what you want done."

"The priest isn't needed. The only thing he was ever devout to was alcohol, and you already know exactly how that worked out for him in the end."

There's no more conversation, because the doctor isn't dense and can see the obvious resentment from son to father- but the cause will remain unknown to him- as to most. Dean keeps this fact about his life and even his gender wrapped tightly in his steel resolve and behind his wall, and he's positive that it's never going to change if he has any say in it. If anyone knew he ran away because John beat him for being an omega or that he was on his own for most of his life- Dean would be surrounded by nothing but pity. Dean despises pity as much as he does John.

"You're an old fat bastard, you know that?" Dean hissed under his breath, no one walking up and down the hallway to check IV's anymore, "You _deserve_ this- every bit, every second and ounce of suffering. Of course it'd be your drinking that catches up to you and not someone beating the shit out of you like you did me most of the time. Wish maybe it was something else, but I think it's just that you ruined your own life too."

It's not even a goodbye and Dean knows it, knows that his father is probably too far gone to even hear him anymore. The breathing machine in the corner is proof of that, among countless others plugged into the wall keeping his husk somehow still barely functioning. But Dean doesn't care, he wants his point across, even if John's brain is technically dead and unresponsive- he's going to tell John exactly what he thinks and feels, what he needs and wants. However, what Dean really wants is it to just be over. He just wants to go back to hustling pool and living in shitty motels and eating burgers by himself at two in the morning. It's better than having to come back here where the past he's avoiding is all too evident. Solitary but _safe._

Instead of going back down the highway and leave the festering Lawrence sign behind again, he pulls up a plastic chair to the farthest corner and sets himself in it. He stares, cold and hard towards the slack face of John Winchester, and anger and disappointment stir inside of him. Why didn't his father die sooner? Why did Dean take so long to run away from John and Kansas? Why did Dean come back? Why was Dean an omega?  _Why Dean at all?_

The flood of why's are a little too much it seems, as Dean presses the heels of his palms into his eyes. They don't stop the tears that escape, they never do, and it only makes Dean angrier. If he can't even sit and look at his father without letting all of the scars reopen, how is he going to manage the feat of burying him?

It's probably a self-destructive train of thought, but Dean was John's son after all- no matter how much he resented that fact- and inherited his recklessness and harmful ways to an extent. When he was eight he proved that. Proved he was finished with getting called a "slut" and "knot whore" everyday and getting bruises and cuts by grabbing his belongings and running. It was Dean's last resort, and the whole ordeal was a blur in his memory with how far he had buried it.

"Did you hear about the event the Novak's are holding?" A girl said outside.

Dean's head snapped up, he hadn't heard that name in years, before he ran past that sign and away from John and all the bullshit he had called his life. He keened in, wondering why in the world the name had the nostalgic ring.

"I did actually- isn't their youngest son of age now?"

The other woman chuckled outside the doorway, "Yeah, he is. They're trying to find him a mate last time I heard something. There's supposed to be some meeting or party where all the families that are intereseted visit him. Guess you could say they're looking for the spark at first sight."

Dean furrows his brow at the words, vague images appearing his mind from the name Novak. He can't think of a first or middle name, but he knows it's on the tip of his tongue. However what they were talking about was part of Dean's life in Lawrence, so whoever they were discussing went along with it to the vault of forbidden memories. Because when Dean Winchester wants to forget something, he can really bury it in his mind- and all the things that are related or remind him even the slightest of it.

The women are gone now when Dean resurfaces from his thoughts, the only sound in the vacant room is the beeping of John's heart monitor and the mechanical rise and fall of his chest. It's a little sickening to hear, but Dean knows it won't be long that he has to have it fill his ears. He has a few days here until John passes, at least two pertaining to the burial arrangements if something goes wrong. If he's honest, it isn't going to be easy at all for him.

But Dean never had easy much. The road he was on began uneven and jagged, only getting worse as the years progressed onward and Dean got older. It wasn't until he ran away that he was truly happy or relaxed. Until his firsts heats hit, naturally. Most of it was stuck pent up in hotel rooms hoping an alpha never caught onto his scent and staying low for a week- other than that it wasn't bothersome to him. Dean was used to hardship and challenges.

He leaves the room now, entering the Impala's metal body and turning the key in the ignition and the engine roars to life. Dean pulls out of the parking space, thinking about going down the highway further so he can get a burger or something instead of chancing it with the local diner. Sure it's bad for his health, but Dean would tell you to go fuck yourself and that he doesn't have to worry about a familiar face at a McDonalds- or he hopes he doesn't.

It's on the way there that Dean runs into something he hadn't completely blocked or fully forgotten. It's the white house, the one he sometimes had flash in his dreams or appear vaguely in his head, on the hilltop just to the right of the road. Not much has changed as he eyes it, and Dean doesn't realize what he's doing as he turns into the driveway with all his focus on the white siding and the canopy of trees in front of him.

"Fuck!"

Naturally he'd do something like this, but as he rolls up underneath the overhang of old willow trees, Dean finds a small part of him okay with where he's headed. Dean knows he's not supposed to be here, not supposed to go and be recognized by anyone who might see him and recall what happened- but the damn house is maybe the only exception he'll ever make while he's here. It is the only thing that's stayed after his mental sweep and lockdown. He can at least see as to why.

So as Dean parks the Impala, he takes all it's details in before he knocks on the door.

Some ring old bells. Like the smell of the blooming cream roses on the side of the house, or the vines trailing up the sides and to the second-story windows and shutters. It's an older house, as Dean remembers it had been there awhile even as he was a kid running around and scuffing up his knees. Even now, it seems just as new as it was built, and it's just as gorgeous. The porch has a bench swing on it's left, and it swaying a little in the light breeze. Dean recalls a lot from it, like it's large lot and the old pond out back- except, Dean can't tell you why it's so god damned important.

He falters for a second, doubt rising in his mind- but when Dean's got a reason for something, he motivates himself to see it through. He walks up the stairs, cautious and a little worried, biting his lip and hoping for the best as he reaches out to press the worn doorbell.

"Dean?"

He turns around, and is completely shocked by what he sees.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's about 4 ch.'s currently (as of 9/15/13).
> 
> So a few more and this will be as up to date as my FF.net account.  
> Good luck you guys.
> 
> \---
> 
> THIS CH. SHOULD BE CLEAR OF GRAMMAR/SPELL. ERRORS: IF YOU FIND ANY, PLEASE TELL ME AND I WILL FIX IT.
> 
> THANK YOU!

* * *

 

Dean stares, the man from behind him on the steps and staring at him. His face sets something off in Dean, a recollection of moments Dean actually lived as a kid popping up in his mind for the first time in many years.

" _C-Cas?_ "

Castiel Novak- now there's a name Dean hasn't heard in a long fucking time.  
Dean's immediately wrapped up in arms, lifting him a little off of the wooden porch and causing him to almost squeak, "Dean! I missed you so much!"

Castiel sets him down, a grin wide on his face. Dean hasn't seen him in a long time- obviously, but it's something else that had changed. Sure, Cas had gotten taller and he'd gotten stubble and some muscle, but it was something else. Dean put it back in his thoughts for later.

"I missed you too, dude. How's it goin'?"

Cas shrugs, "As good as it gets, I suppose. What about you?"

"Oh me?" Dean gets a little faint reminder of John dying in a not-so-distant hospital, "I'm here for some business I guess."

"Business? Who do you work for then?"

Dean almost chuckles, "Not that kind of business, dude."

His old friend's face falls a little, "Oh." and it's all he says.

It's a moment of awkward silence, but it's feeling like lifetimes- or it always does. Castiel's blue eyes somewhat narrow on Dean, like he's taking in all the past fifteen years in moments. But sadly- _he is_. Dean does the same, noticing a few new scars on Castiel's tanned skin and the sweat creasing his brow, or how his hair looks like a tousled mess. That his eyes are still their unsual bright blue and his lips look chapped. His voice faintly replays in Dean's mind, and he almost shudders with how low and gravely it's gotten. Either way, it's just the same old Cas overall.

"Do you want to come inside?" Castiel asks, tilting his head a little. He probably thinks Dean's going to say no- but for good reasons.

Dean pauses for a moment. He should say no- after all, he's already breaking his first rule of his visit down here in Lawrence. He feels like he should decline, get back in the Impala and just drive down and get this damn burger that was the cause of all this currently. But Dean can't. Not when he just found Cas- a person he forgot almost completely as he passed the city sign as a kid and tread onto his own path- not when those blue eyes seem to be pleading for him to cross the welcome mat and just talk for a bit. It's been fifteen years already between them, and somehow Dean feels a little guilty for even thinking about leaving again.

"Sure."

When Dean walks inside, he tries to take the room in one item at a time- and it's a challenge. It's well-furnished, cozy and warm. Dean's positive they ripped it all straight out of a magazine and plastered it as their living room. The wood scuffs underneath his boots, and Dean finds more things reaching out to him with familiarity. Dean's really got to get the fuck out of this town while he's ahead of himself.

Cas walks ahead of him, going into the kitchen that's just to the left, "Make yourself at home if you want to- you've done it before."

"I have?"

The question seems to stab something in Castiel, the man wincing a little, "Yeah... about fifteen years ago... Don't you remember?"

It all comes rushing into Dean's head then. He remembers now, that he and Cas were friends for most of Dean's fucked up childhood, that this was his house, and it was the one thing he wasn't able to completely delete. His head churns, and he almost has to take a seat, but he manages somehow to be stable on his two feet. The last thing his vault gives him is the memory of his and Castiel's last conversation before Dean completely left Kansas.

Dean had wanted him to run away with him, begged him to. Castiel had refused, saying that Dean was going to get himself killed if he weren't careful- that they'd both wouldn't last a day. It only made Dean angrier when Cas brought up his gender (that being an omega out on his own would get him killed or worse), as Dean didn't like to remind himself to much- because it always ended with John beating him somehow. Either way, it was a huge fallout from what Dean can vaguely remember, and guilt nearly swallows him whole right there in Cas' living room.

"Oh I- it's a long story..." Dean turns away, biting his lip awkwardly and shoving his hands in his leather pockets. There was a reason he had banned himself from reunions.

Castiel just smiles a little, the pain evident in his eyes, but he opens the fridge and pulls out two sports drinks and hands one to Dean, "It's fine."

They sit in awkward silence for a moment, Dean sipping at the drink in his hands and Castiel nearly downing all of his in one go. Dean supposes that maybe Cas had been exercising or something while he drove up the driveway completely unannounced or something, going by his sweat and t-shirt and running-gym shorts. Right before Dean asks him what he was doing or some other conversation starter, the doorbell rings.

"Oh- I'll get it." Cas jumps up quickly, Dean's eyes trailing him as he jogs to the door.

He just sits and waits for about five minutes to himself awkwardly, and hears the door shut. In moments Cas is back in his view and is sighing.

"Who was that?"

Castiel sits down, "That was a family interested in my dad's offer."

"Chuck?" Dean blurts, before asking the main question he wanted, "Wait- what offer?"

"A lot has changed since you've been gone... even me."

Dean tilts his head and narrows his eyes in confusion, until Cas notices him and smiles awkwardly, "Uhh- _potential mates_ , Dean."

Apparently, when Dean Winchester has a realization, it hits him like a damn bus. The woman's conversation outside John's room clicks into place along with the unnamed shift in Cas. Dean can almost smell it now that he's figured it out.

"You're an alpha?"

Cas nods, "I presented a little while after you left, Dean. About a year or two I think."

Dean tries to ignore the thoughts about how he himself started up around that time, that if he'd been here then things would probably be drastically different than now. Instead, Dean only nods and takes it in as best as he can. (sounds dirty, doesn't it?)

"Must've been weird."

"You have no idea," Cas nearly cringes, "Chuck had to explain everything to me- _everything_."

Dean snorts, "I would've paid to see that."

In seconds, the pair is laughing- like nothing had changed. Like Dean didn't run away or Chuck's fatherly offering of Castiel like a stud horse never happened. Instead, they're just themselves, something they haven't been probably in a long time.

"How long are you staying in Lawrence?"

"A few days... afraid my reason for visiting is because the drink finally bit John in the ass."

Castiel leans forward, "Oh Dean, I'm sorry... How did it happen?"

Dean shrugs, "It's fine, and it's not over yet- he's in the hospital but not for long. Doctors called me a few days ago saying I was the only relative and it's time to pull his plug. But it's from liver failure."

"Seems karma's a bitch."

"Always is." Dean shrugs.

They talk for a little bit, it's a bit awkward for Dean because he knows every second he's here should be spent somewhere else- but he realizes how much he truly missed Cas. He's a little sad that he had been ripped out with Lawrence overall, because Castiel was probably one of the very few good memories that Dean had here. To cut him out was to reject his first experiences with happiness.

"So the car out there- that yours?"

Dean nods, and smirks, "Yep! '67 Impala. Restored her myself."

Castiel leans in, "How did you get her?"

"Found her."

Dean doesn't tell Castiel that he actually stole it instead of "finding it". It had been a stormy night when he was seventeen. The rain drenched him down to his bones and sent a shiver down his spine, breath bellowing out in clouds in front of him. Dean wanted to be dry, warm, and wanted to sleep for at least two days straight. Instead, it was the Impala he found refuge in, her rusty and bent body offering to shield him from the pelting rain and most of the chills from the fall weather. He broke into it, wired it and sped off. Later he realized he hit the jackpot as the car came up unregistered, and mainly unwanted as a work-in-progress - she was in really bad shape when Dean got her. It was almost fate. Since then, he and the Impala have been together.

Castiel smiles then, "That's awesome! Wish I had luck that that."

"It's not luck really, just noticing stuff."

Dean tries not to feel a little offended. Luck? With Dean Winchester? If something were impossible it would still happen to Dean, no matter what. The odds were never in his favor, they never would be. He just grit his teeth together silently.

"I think I should be going..." Dean rubs the back of his neck. He feels off at being here, feels off about how Castiel just sits across from him like nothing's happened at all- like the fifteen years were never spent apart and out of each other's minds and in different parts of the country.

"Oh-" Cas leans back off his knees, eyes saddening a little a face falling, "well, if you ever want to come back, you're welcome too. Just don't be surprised if you show up while someone's visiting- ever since Chuck offered me up, everyone just keeps appearing... Anyways, it's been nice seeing you Dean."

He is still eyeing Dean as he nods, "Alright. I'll keep that in mind."

Cas walks Dean to the door, where he realizes his head is only a few inches taller than Castiel's (which can honestly change because alphas shoot up like weeds no matter their age). It annoys him a bit, but he just shoves his seething feelings about it to the back of his mind. He turns to say goodbye, and he catches blue eyes staring at him intensely. Dean clears his throat and glances to the tree off in the distance, a tire swing swaying with the slight breeze.

"Bye Cas... It was-" Dean looks towards the wooden boards of the old porch, "it was nice seeing you."

Cas smiles, "The offer is serious Dean. If you ever want to come back, just show up. Hell- out of the blue if you want again like today."

He nods, "Thanks."

Dean tries to keep a steady pace as he walks towards the Impala. He can feel his old friend's eyes burning into his back as the gravel crunches underneath his shoes. He gets in the Impala, driving away and watching as Castiel just stands on the porch staring at his shrinking tail lights from the rear view mirror. A pang of guilt hits Dean's stomach. It's not much- but it's more than he's felt in years.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ch. is in Castiel's POV.  
> Song name in notes at bottom.

 

* * *

 

Castiel Novak watches Dean Winchester drive away.

The alpha honestly doesn't know how to react. He was just jogging around the trail lining the house's property lines when he heard the engine rumbling down his driveway. It wasn't until he was sprinting towards the unrecognizable black muscle car that he realized who it was just by the scent.

It was Dean- Dean Winchester.

Someone Castiel has been missing straight for fifteen years, someone who's getting out of the car and approaching his house. Questions assaulted Castiel's mind: why was Dean here? Was he seeing Castiel? Was anyone with him?

Castiel decided to speak up when Dean's slightly trembling finger was centimeters from his doorbell. When Dean flipped around, Castiel was caught off guard. He no longer had his baby fat, his flat shirt proving as much, and his dress hadn't changed. It was still leather [jackets](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9681760/3/Summer-Heat) and jeans- just like it'd always been. But his smell was sweeter, and when Castiel inhaled it, he realized that Dean had grown up while he was gone. His green eyes were unwavering while staring at him.

Castiel hadn't seen them in so long.

It took all of his personal restraint not to run [up right](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9681760/3/Summer-Heat) then and tackle him to the ground, anger and happiness swirling inside of him. Dean had left, had shown no signs of returning ever to Lawrence- then out of the damn blue he appears on Castiel's doorstep? It's a little too much to process, probably for anyone- but Castiel refuses to let that stop him.

He doesn't know how much Dean remembers, because he knows how Dean is. He knows how Dean was. He blocks out anything traumatic and expects everything to be okay- that if he doesn't recall it, it doesn't exist or it never happened. It's a shit way to cope, but Castiel is happy that he didn't pick up the bottle like John.

It's sad to say that probably only three people on the planet know what Dean's childhood was like. John, for one of them- and was the cause of all of the problems in the first place, Castiel, and Dean himself. But with the look a slight recognition on Dean's face mixed with confusion, he thinks it may be only down to two. It's painful to see it, but Castiel can't change a person and their past- no matter how much he truly wants to.

It's easy for Castiel to see the [pain](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9681760/3/Summer-Heat) in Dean. His eyes used to look so innocent and wide while now they're narrowed and weary. He used to be kind and always had a smile whenever you saw him, Dean now looks like's on the verge of breaking- because more than likely he is. Castiel knows how John treated Dean, he's seen the wounds from it first-hand himself. It really all started when they were little.

...

Castiel had been in the park, sitting under a tree and just listening to the breeze around him as the summer went on around him. The rays of sunlight coming through the green leaves and warmed Castiel as he began to doze off. It wasn't until something fell on him with a thump that he woke up fully.

" _Oh- my bad!_ " A boy tangled up on top of him squeaked.

When Castiel opened his eyes, there were bright green ones staring directly into his. He feels their limbs entangled and tries to shift out of it, " _It's f-fine._ "

When he and the mysterious boy- at the time- are standing up now on the dry grass brushing dirt off their clothes that a question crosses his mind, " _How did you fall on me?_ "

" _I was climbing the tree,_ " he looks towards the tips of his scuffed shoes, " _I slipped. I'm Dean._ "

" _I'm Castiel._ "

Dean tilted his head, " _Castiel? How about Cas? It's shorter- plus it doesn't make me feel like I have peanut butter in my mouth._ "

Castiel smiled, " _I like that._ "

It was then onward that Dean and Castiel talked. They'd run into each other in the park, and eventually, they just started hanging out. Castiel thought it was fun. He always laughed and had good times with Dean, and he always found himself looking forward to spending time with him. It was- until Castiel noticed the bruises for the first time.

" _Dean-_ " he was straining his voice at the time because he was upside down on some monkey bars, " _what's that purple smudge on your stomach?_ "

Dean froze, the smile dropping from his face, " _What are you talking about? ..._ "

Castiel jumps off the bars, going over to Dean and lifting up his shirt before Dean has a chance to stop him. He immediately regrets it. All over his abdomen are scars and bruises and cuts that are puffy and swollen. The sight of all of them make Castiel cringe, and when he gets the mortified expression of Dean's face into his senses- he panics.

" _Dean- I- what happened? Are you okay-_ "

" _Cas!_ " Dean spat, " _Just shut up, okay?!_ "

Castiel does quiet himself, biting his lip and letting the words cram his skull instead of his mouth. Dean just sighs, sitting down beside him, " _It's bad, isn't it? ..._ "

He just nods over speaking.

" _You're wondering how I got them aren't you? ..._ " Dean's voice trails off, growing smaller as the sun gets a little dimmer as a cloud passes in front of it.

" _I am._ "

Dean swallows, fiddling with the ties to his jacket hood, " _It's from- ... my dad, John. He beats me because I'm an omega..._ "

Castiel is furious, then. He remembers Chuck telling him that he loved him no matter what he was- alpha, or omega, or in the end he was just a plain little beta. For Dean's father to reject him for something natural and unchangeable made Castiel's blood boil.

" _He's an assbutt._ "

Dean laughs a little at Castiel's label, " _He is..._ "

The rest of the time was spent with Dean explaining the rest of his story to Castiel, his friend listening to him intently. It made Castiel angry, made him sad, made him want to take Dean away from John and show him how amazing the world really was. Show him there was more to life than just John and Lawrence, that there were people out there who cared and places that'd make his breath catch in his throat. But they were just kids- it'd never work out that way. It was a mental debate for Castiel while Dean recovered beside him.

In the end, Castiel took Dean to his house for the first time, where he helped patch him up. Dean didn't like anyone seeing the fading scars or discoloration of his skin. He flinched away from Castiel's fingers, even when he was completely gentle and caring as Castiel could make them. It was a slow process, Dean staring at Castiel with his green eyes wide and body trembling. Even as Castiel was putting on ointment and bandages, Dean would look like he was flexing himself to take another blow. Finally, when Castiel was finished, Dean was covered in at least twenty bandages and looking visibly more comfortable. It nearly broke Castiel's heart. He let Dean stay over, and watched his bandaged chest rise and fall slowly as he slept. In the morning, it was as if nothing had happened, and stayed that most of the time.

They were best friends from then on. Of course- until Dean ran away.

...

Castiel flops himself back down into his couch, the fabric faintly smelling of Dean. The alpha sighs, sinking into the pillows and breathing deeply. He wishes Dean were back, that they can make up for lost time- that Castiel can make up for denying him. He remembered how angry Dean was, how awful he felt for leaving his friend to fend for himself in a world still too large for him- for anyone. It's a sad but true realization.

He thinks of how things would be different if he'd said yes to Dean's offer to run away, to hit the road and just forget about Lawrence. Forget everything except them and the possessions on their back, a road of opportunities ahead of them. But Castiel couldn't of gone, ever. Chuck would have been devastated, searching for him relentlessly and probably falling apart when the police said there was no sign of the two. The thought of making him distraught was bothersome. Chuck was his mother and father wrapped up into one parent, always watching out for Castiel when they were at parks and teaching him to throw a baseball. In fact, Dean had grown fond of the man quickly for that reason alone.

It only furthered their relationship when Dean had found out Castiel's mom had died soon after childbirth from an infection, leaving Chuck to be the sole protector and guardian over him and the rest of his children. Castiel knows that Dean was mother-less, and that John was practically the exact opposite of a dad. So they shared Chuck in their own way. It was sad to know that while Castiel and Dean had only a single parent, only one took up the role of two while the other decided to completely reject the title.  
Castiel technically had two parents, Dean had none.

"Did the Smith's come today, Castiel?" Chuck asked, walking into the living room where Castiel was.

"No- but you'll never guess who did."

Chuck smirks, Castiel noticing some of the new microscopic wrinkles, "Who?"

Castiel breaths out, "Dean Winchester."

"Dean!?"

"The one and the same."

Chuck rubs his forehead, "It can't be! That boy ran away almost twenty years ago! ... Why is he back here in Lawrence, then?"

"John's dying, liver failure apparently."

Chuck sighs, "Poor kid. Life's just not too nice to him... Well- next time you see him, tell him I need to see his ass before he runs off again. I never got to say goodbye after all."

The alpha nods, "I will."

Chuck didn't know about Dean's abusive relationship with John, nor did he know about how most nights Dean would sneak over to their house and see Castiel. He'd be crying sometimes, or had been- his puffy eyes and stuffy nose too apparent for Dean's taste, but Castiel always noticed. They'd talk, Castiel would fix Dean's new wounds, and they'd sleep under the covers together. Usually- since Dean was a little smaller at the time- Castiel would have his arms thrown over him protectively.

Castiel sighed, getting up off of the couch. He pushes his iPod's headphones into his ear, blaring his playlist as he sets out on his jog again. As an alpha, Castiel has almost unlimited energy- especially now that Dean's been by again and he's just brushed off the dust of an old, damaged friendship. Castiel doesn't know if Dean will ever be back, doesn't blame him if he doesn't want to ever return- but wants him to at least consider. After all, as Castiel had watched him climb down from his window and start running off into his yard for the last time, he really wished things would be different. Life just always did things like that to everyone.

" _Who's knows how long- I've been awake now?_ " comes into Castiel's ears, " _The shadows on my wall don't sleep- they keep calling me, beckoning_."

His feet thump against the dirt path he's worn into the grass over the years. Small puffs of it whisp around his sneakers as he keeps jogging. Castiel uses it as a coping mechanism whenever he feels like his thoughts are getting a little too loud or life has become a little too much- and with the return of Dean Winchester, came a lot of unwanted thoughts and feelings.

The aching hole in Castiel's chest from when he left never healed right, through the fifteen years of time that had passed, through the nights were sometimes Castiel debated on running away himself or downing a whole bottle of Chuck's almost-secret wine stash. It had hit him hard, scalded him like boiling water, and to this day he still felt the faint and lingering burn of it all. Now Dean was back, and it was like someone sliced open his skin again. The wind rushed past his ears and whipped his hair, oxygen rushing in and carbon dioxide rushing out in seconds.

Castiel just hoped in the end everything would end up okay. Maybe a little more of himself, but mostly for Dean.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Nothing Left to Say - Imagine Dragons


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now this is up to date with my FanFiction.net version. (as of 9/15/13)
> 
> Updates are daily.  
> Stay tuned.

* * *

 

 

The cicadas hum in the trees above Castiel. He's out in the yard, the oak's leaves swaying above his head. It's been a day since Dean's unexpected visit, and Castiel is still as flustered and confused as before.

Suddenly, there's the sound of the Impala coming up the driveway and Castiel's head shoots up like a rocket. As soon as he sees the black car rolling down his driveway again a smile appears widely on his face.

Dean came back. Out of all the possible miracles to happen to Castiel- Dean's returning to see him again.

In seconds he's sprinting from the oak to him, Dean's scent picking up on the wind and making Castiel run even faster towards him. When Dean notices the alpha's speed, his eyes widen and he himself starts running.

It ends up as a weird version of chase- if that makes sense- and ends with Castiel tackling Dean into the grass. He lifts off him a little, palms pressed into the grass and Dean pouts below him.

"No fair dude, you had a head start."

"I've get reasons to be happy." He chuckles.

The moment goes a little sour as Dean's tone and words hit the air and Castiel's ears, "You didn't think I'd be back..."

Castiel doesn't deny it, only flops over beside Dean and exhales heavily. It's quiet now, the blue and somewhat clouded sky above them, the sounds of summer filling their ears, and the warm kiss of sunlight on their exposed skin. The grass is cool underneath Castiel's back, and he sighs in content.

"Honestly Dean," he closes his eyes, "I really think you wouldn't ever come back here. Why did you?"

"I dunno…" Dean trails off.

Castiel knows he might be telling the truth, because Dean's probably just as confused as to why his car's tires are parked in Castiel's driveway, that his back is currently on the ground of Castiel's property. It doesn't make sense, more than likely never will- but Castiel is still happy for it. That somehow Dean made it back again to him, twice.

"It's really been a long time, hasn't it?"

Dean stiffens a little in the grass, "Yeah- fifteen years…"

"How did you do it?" Castiel blurts, "I thought you'd never be able to make it- and that scared me almost to death. I'd stay up for nights on end worrying constantly that you'd wind up in an alley somewhere or something…"

Dean doesn't try to change the subject, thinking that maybe if he does he's just delaying the inevitable, "I just did what I could… I made money doing a few small jobs here and there- sometimes even won poker games or hustled pool- but I managed. Guess you could say it was like a cut and run life. I never stayed in more than one place for a day."

Castiel thinks about Dean when he was eight, the small boy, too young to be out on his own yet. Running from city to city with nothing but motivation and a fear for Lawrence, Kansas and John Winchester. It seems silly, to look back on a not-so-distant past, and realize how impossible it all was. How everything seemed to be on the edge of collapsing but somehow the rickety foundation never fumbled underneath them. The alpha opens his eyes and looks towards Dean.

He's looking towards the sky, face a little scrunched- and Castiel figures he's probably doing it by talking about how he got by. But he notices how much Dean's truly changed. Sure, his freckles are still there, his hair is still the same style and shade- but it's his whole entire self. Castiel can sees the mental damage John dealt him, can see how much it scarred and healed wrong, how many times Dean's had to steel himself to the harsh truths to the world. The vacancy in his eyes from when he rejected it all, pushed it away into the depths of his mind to pretend that his life hadn't of happened. That nothing so misfortunate ever occurred, that Dean Winchester himself was fine and no one or anything else could say otherwise.

Before him, was a man who was broken and in denial of it all.

"Dean- how much do you remember? …"

Castiel knows he's going too far, pushing on a wall that's probably barely standing on it's own. He sees it as Dean turns his head to stare at him, sees the cracks in the mortar as his pupils widen within the forest green. Castiel knows Dean might reject him too, but he's got to push, has to show Dean that he's got to accept the past before he goes running off grid again.

Because Castiel doesn't know if he can go on anymore with Dean barely making it on his own.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Cas?"

"You know-" Castiel says sternly, he knows he can't back down, that Dean needs to see he's serious, "how much do you remember?"

Dean narrows his eyes, brows scrunched together, and Castiel knows how quickly and where this conversation is headed, "You know everything there's to know about it Cas- I don't see why you need reminding-"

"What about you!?" Castiel raises his voice, he knows it may be wrong, that maybe he's being too harsh, but dammit Dean's going to understand him if it kills him, "Just yesterday you didn't even remember that this was my house- it took you a moment to remember my name! You even forgot you came here before and that we were best friends, dammit! Do you know how that feels?! To be the only one who remembers a damn thing because maybe you're the only one to care about it? It's like you left me behind with the rest of Lawrence when you ran away!"

Dean sits up ramrod straight, "Who the fuck are you to tell me anything?! You know what happened, you know why I ran! Why do you think I left in the fucking first place!? The only reason I'm back is because John's dying and no one else is alive or gives a damn about him to fucking bury him!"

"So that's it!? Not to fix all the people's relationships with you that you broke or severed? Not to even say hi to Chuck after you left him in the damn dark for fifteen years? Not when we all thought you were dead or fucking worse?" Castiel feels his anger seeping into rage, and he knows the argument is going to boil over soon, "Do you know what that did to us- to me?!"

Dean's starting to get up and walk towards the Impala, Castiel following him on his heels, "Fuck you Cas! If I don't want to talk to people- that's my damn choice, that's my damn decision to make, and if it upsets you and the rest of em', then all of you can go to hell like John!"

Castiel loses it, grabbing Dean by his arm and swirling him around. It's Dean's expression that makes all of his frustration turn cold. Dean's eyes are wide and watching Castiel's hands, his body stiffened and trembling. It's the reflexes from John's doing, from his fists flying towards Dean with drunken slurs and unfiltered hate- from being beaten for practically eight years straight. Castiel almost stops from the wave of guilt and resentment towards himself that wash over him in unrelenting sweeps.

"Dean I-" he swallows, voice barely above a whisper now, "I'm sorry… It's just- that night you begged me to come with you… I should have gone, should have said yes. Maybe now things would be okay and never led to this point… I thought for so long that you had died or gotten kidnapped by someone, that a person a thousand times worse than John got ahold of you and I'd see your name in the newspaper because they found your body… The nights I stayed up worrying about you are uncountable- and they always will be… Dean-"

Castiel looks up, Dean beside him with his expression from earlier, except it's only a smaller fraction relaxed.

Castiel continues, "You just appear out of nowhere on me, about to ring my doorbell and just say, 'Hi, sorry I've been gone so long.' and expect everything to be okay. Like you weren't gone that long or you were on vacation. How am I supposed to react? Especially when you look at me for a couple of seconds like I'm a complete stranger when we used to know almost everything about each other… I'm not even sure how much you recall or how things happened or- shit, anything anymore… I just want to know Dean, do you really even recognize me anymore? Did you erase everything?"

"I-" Dean's voice is very, very small, "it's not everything, Cas… just most things… I remember falling out of that tree on you, and when you first discovered about what John did- and vaguely when I asked you to ditch Lawrence with me- but not much other than that, Cas… It's like a whole other person gave me these memories…"

Castiel's worst fears are true. Dean barely remembers anything from here, barely recalls all the good things about Lawrence. It's crushing to the alpha as he sees the confusion in Dean's eyes.

"Come on… Let's go inside."

Castiel leads Dean through his house and up to his room. As soon as Dean is inside of it again, Castiel can see some of the things clicking into place. Like how Dean runs his fingers over the wooden banister of Castiel's bed, the one they shared so many years ago while Dean avoided John and his belligerent habits. The alphas just watches, letting the room sink back into Dean's senses on his own time and pace.

"I remember some of these things…" Dean finds a notch out of the dresser, the pad of his fingertip brushing the damage on the old wood, "I did this with a pocket knife."

Castiel nods, "You had come over because John had gone off on you, and apparently my dresser was the next best thing to take your anger on."

Dean face falls a little, his hand lingering over the knick in the dresser, "Oh… Sorry about ruining your dresser, Cas."

"It's fine Dean," he noticed the barely audible tremor in Dean's voice, "it's not like you ruined it either. Just a scratch."

Dean runs a hand through his hair, and his breath escapes his lungs in a long sigh. Castiel watches beside the bed as Dean goes over and sits on the mattress. It's only until Dean puts his face in his hands that Castiel joins him. He can feel how tense Dean's muscles are from just placing his hand on his back, slowly he rubs circles into it. Dean looks towards Castiel.

"What were the fifteen years like for you?"

Castiel takes a moment. Not only was he not expecting Dean to speak, he wasn't even debating the possibility that Dean would ask him this exact question. The alpha looks away for a moment, memories of Dean flashing through his mind.

"It was rough."

Dean's eyes darken for a second, and Castiel notices Dean turn his body a little more towards him, scooting closer, "Rough how?"

"I thought-" Castiel bites his lip, sighs and gives in with continuing, "I thought maybe you hated me just as much as John sometimes… Like I pushed you away and shit like that. I felt awful for all of it, I really did. I guess for the first year I didn't blame you for running away, who wouldn't. But then, I slowly realized that you were all on your own, alone in a place that doesn't care who or what you are- because it doesn't matter. I think I've memorized the stars from how long I stayed up worrying about you. Seems cliche, or like something you'd read in a romance novel or some shit- but it's true, Dean. When you showed up on my doorstep, I thought it was a dream or something. I had accepted I'd never see you again, or something worse happened and you couldn't come see me… It's just- I never expected you to come back to Lawrence, and maybe a small part of me always did. Maybe that's why sometimes I'd stare at the driveway thinking you'd be walking down it again, or that when I woke up you'd be there like you always were. The disappointment I got everyday was crippling."

Dean falters for a moment, and it's quiet. Nothing but the sounds of the distant cicadas and whir of leaves through the open windows, the small breaths being taken and given away. Maybe silence is for the best, because Castiel thinks that every time he opens his mouth something worse comes out than before- that he and Dean take twenty steps back when they just took five forward.

"I'm sorry Cas."

"Nothing to be done about it, Dean. You took your life in your own hands when no one else wanted to. Sure, we were both kids- still sort of are now- but you took care of yourself. Don't think that's a mistake or something, because I think that John probably would have killed you if you hadn't of left. In the end, we can't change the past, and that's fine, we can only just live with it's results."

Dean smiles a fraction, "Damn Cas, you sound like some chick flick or somethin'."

Maybe Castiel can get used to this, just maybe. Because every time even the faintest of smile appears on his friend's face- Castiel feels like everything in the world is just right.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean kind of loses it in this ch.
> 
> I really am going to hell.
> 
> (Hey Adam.)

* * *

 

Dean’s sitting in a bar, hand on a glass of beer and he’s not regretting a moment of it. Funny to think that it was the start of his problems but now Dean turns to it as a solution for them. The irony made him down more.

 

“Well- isn’t it a little lone omega.” A man sneers, coming over and sitting in the stool beside Dean.

 

“One that prefers to be alone- fuck off.”

 

The alpha- going by his scent and how he was coming onto Dean- chuckled, “Touchy are we? Let me buy you a drink, and then we’ll head to my place-”

 

“I’m not going anywhere with you, asshole.”

 

The alpha just narrows his eyes, “I’ll just be back later, then.”

 

“You’ll get the same answer as before.”

 

Dean decides that now is the time to leave. He’s not too drunk and his head is still overall level. He makes his way outside, keys in his hand as he makes his way to the Impala.

 

Dean doesn’t hear them sneak up on him.

 

Hands wrap around his neck, pulling him back towards the brick wall of the bar as the air is pushed out of his lungs. Flesh meets brick as his skull is forced into the gritty wall behind him, a hand pressed to his neck and a dark chuckle seeping around him.

 

“Look at you- so pretty, so open-” Dean feels the alpha from earlier cup him, feels him take his tongue and taste the sweat and fear lingering on his bruising skin, “just one look at you and anyone would want to claim you.”

 

“Fuck off!” Dean spat, trying to shake himself free, his arms with the keys pinned behind him painfully, and he’s sure it’s popped his arm out of socket.

 

The alpha growls, “What does an omega like you think? That you can deny me? Your body was built to have me claim you- every inch made for me. Don’t deny what is rightfully mine!”

 

Dean feels the hind tighten around his throat as he swallows and responds, “The only thing you have the right to is a damn jail cell, asshole.”

 

The are other alphas around Dean, he can smell them, feel their hands go up his clothing and try to grope him. This was another reason Dean never stayed in one place for too long, less chance of being taken advantage of.

 

The only thing that’s going to save Dean is a miracle.

 

That miracle, turns out to be the owner of the bar and her shotgun. As the alphas around Dean run off as they hear the pump from the woman beside them, Dean manages to get free and use his key to slash the alpha from inside the bar’s face. He glares, hisses and curses, but runs off down the alleyway like the rat he is.

 

“You okay, kid?” She asks, putting the gun to her side and quickly going to Dean’s side.

 

He’s breathing heavily, pops his arm back into place and grunts. He needs to leave, needs to get the fuck away from here. Of course, John isn’t even fucking dead yet so Dean can’t just leave Lawrence again. He’s going to have to figure something out; and really fucking fast. Either way, he’s gotta thank this heaven sent goddess in front of him for saving his life.

 

“I’m fine… Thanks for all of that, I’m Dean...”

 

“Name’s Ellen, and it’s no problem. I suggest you go ahead and jump in your car and leave before they come back- surely they’ll find more willing people to join em’. I’ll do my best and call the police and have a warrant out for them for the assault. Just get gone, okay?”

 

Dean’s grateful, “Thank you so much!”

 

So Dean’s in the Impala, pushing the gas pedal down and trying to find the nearest and safest place he can stop. His skin is crawling, he feels like he needs a shower- that he’ll never be clean again after they touched him- violated him. It’s like the pressure of their roaming fingertips never left his skin.

 

Dean sees it and it’s the next best thing- Castiel’s house. He’s got no where else to go- and he can’t chance it with his shitty motel. He whips over the gravel driveway, hoping- praying that somehow in the end he can just block this out of his mind too. Because if Dean’s honest, he’s beginning to go into shock.

 

It’s unexpected, but not as much as the family in Castiel’s house.

 

After Dean nearly pounds the door down, Chuck opens the door with angry eyes only to have them widen in confusion. Chuck and Dean haven’t seen each other since he ran away- Chuck being among a long list of other people Dean would avoid rather than see them again. Cas is up at the doorway in an instant.

 

He’s wearing a suit, it’s navy tie tucked in formally, hair slicked back a little and Dean can smell him from where he’s standing. His blue eyes go wide at the state of Dean, and he’s more than likely sure that he can probably smell every detail that’s happened to him.

 

Let’s say the family leaves early and Dean’s ushered inside.

 

“Dean- what happened?” Castiel asks, hurrying him up the stairs.

 

Dean isn’t sure how to speak right now, his jaw is locked in place and his limbs seem to have a mind of their own. He’s silent as Cas curses and throws the door to his bathroom open. Next thing Dean knows his shirt is being tugged off of him and something snaps.

 

In the end of the blur of limbs, Dean’s in the corner of the bathroom with his t-shirt ripped from the neck to the shoulder, his breathing coming out in ragged breaths as Castiel stands completely shocked.

 

“Dean-”

 

Nothing wants to compute in Dean’s mind. He wants to sleep, wants to die, wants to curl up and forget this all happened. Forget that only thirty minutes ago it was the bar’s wall against his back and not Cas’ bathroom’s. Dean’s mind is whirling, and he can feel his throat tighten and close as he swallows, it burning as it goes down his throat. He knows he’s on the brink of tears, the brink of having all the barriers he’s built his whole life crumble and waste away and all of his pent up thoughts and memories will drown him out. Castiel sees that, and he looks so lost and hurt from the sight.

 

Dean just curls up on himself, a tight little ball in the corner between the still-running bathtub and toilet, so tight that his ribs and shoulders ache. But he doesn’t care- probably never has. The pads of his fingers hold onto his jeans as he tries to just disappear in the few feet of space. Dean can hear himself- but hardly recognizes it. It sounds like someone else with his voice, someone else who’s beginning to sob and begging to just be left alone, someone who sounds so utterly broken and vacant.

 

“Dean…” Cas tries to come close, his pheromones reaching Dean’s nose and making him push farther into the corner if it were possible. It feels feral, and it probably is.

 

Castiel’s eyes are softened, his hand outstretched and his jacket and tie are gone, his dress shirt undone till the fifth button. Dean growls, low and rumbling in his ribcage- swatting away Cas’ hand and glaring at him. The alpha looks hurt, taken aback by how Dean refuses to to let him get any physical contact unless Dean is okay with it. He only sighs and sits on the floor after he turns off the water.

 

He waits on Dean, slowly returning from survival mode and to stop glaring at him and batting him away. It gets to the point where Dean barely growls, his limbs tired and the fighting he’s been doing catching up with him. Eventually he’s just shaking, Castiel picking him up bridal style and setting him in the tub. He turns on the water, and shuts the curtain.

 

Apparently Dean was supposed to undress himself, as when Cas pulls back the curtain to see Dean soaked he scowls. But Dean isn’t ready for that yet. Instead, Castiel shucks them off- except for his boxers and wraps a towel over him.

 

“Hey-” he says, noticing how Dean’s rocking himself back and forth, the towel strained over him like a blanket, “Dean, it’s alright.. You’re safe now.”

 

All of it comes crashing down on Dean all at once.

 

Memories of his father, the beatings and insults- the times Dean ran over to Castiel’s house. All of the nights he spent getting fixed by Cas’ fingers and soothing words, how throughout all of Dean’s fucked up childhood Cas was the only good thing he ever got. He feels how broken he is, how damaged and fucked up he’s gotten- all of his scars reopened to bleed out the infection they were brewing. To see all of the hard facts and past stare Dean down like a towering skyscraper makes him sick to his stomach- literally.

 

He throws up in the tub, Cas rubbing soothing circles into his back as his abdomen convulses. After Dean’s done, he rests his head in the crook of Castiel’s neck as the tears flow out of his eyes like the pouring rain outside. The whole time Cas telling him he’s okay, that he’s here and nothing can hurt him anymore. His scent calms Dean down, makes the surging storm he’s in a little easier to bare- like a life raft after the boat sinks from the unfathomable waves.

 

Somehow through the process of Dean’s crying, Cas manages to get them to the bed. He lines up Dean’s side with some towels, then just gets into a t-shirt and crawls under the covers. Dean’s at the crook of his neck in seconds, shuddering and breathing in the alpha’s scent in lungfuls. He’s still terrified beyond belief, is sure that those bastards’ scents are still on him- but Cas is here.

 

And that’s all Dean truly needs right now.

  
  


 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JOHN FINALLY KICKS THE DAMN BUCKET- okay, I nearly forgot about him. Shut up.
> 
> You guys also get 2 songs this time! :D  
> Imagine that.
> 
> I don't know when SMUT is gonna happen, this is honestly a slow build.
> 
> Thanks for reading this bullshit.

* * *

 

Dean wakes up to the drizzle outside. The past day is a blur, the ache from struggling for so long is plaguing his body and mind. The windows are opened in Cas’ room, a slight mist that comes through and cools Dean’s skin. He gets up, his boxers and the towels underneath him still damp. Dean sees a pile of clothes laid out for him: an old Led Zeppelin tee, and a pair of faded blue jeans.

All of them faintly smell of Cas.

Dean pulls the shirt over his head, and he feels the jeans settle around his hips. It’s not the best fit that he’d like, but it was better than having to walk around naked. The omega goes to the bathroom to try and brush his teeth.

Apparently Cas thinks of everything, a new toothbrush sitting on the counter. Dean rips it out of the packaging and cleans his teeth that rank and taste of stale vomit. When he’s done, he walks down the stairs and finds Castiel fixing breakfast.

“You’re up finally.” He says, flipping a pancake, Dean’s stomach rumbling at the sight.

Dean takes a seat at one of the bar stools, his feet dangling in the air, “Look- um, about what happened last night-”

“It’s fine Dean,” Cas turns, his expression genuine, “you don’t have to apologize for any of it. I’m just worried.”

Dean remains silent, the radio in the kitchen humming, out the lyrics, “ _Close my eyes for a while- and force from the world a patient smile_.”

Castiel is humming along, mouthing is words and flipping the pancakes and putting them into stacks on a plate. Dean just crosses his arms and sinks down onto them. It’s a semi-quiet moment for them. Right now however, Dean is dealing with the onslaught of memories he had previously gained.

“Cas? …”

The alpha looks eyes, “Yes, Dean?”

He watches as the omega swallowed uneasily, fumbling his fingers and huffing out, “How bad was I last night? …”

“Oh…” Castiel pauses for a moment, and Dean’s breath catches in his throat, “You were pretty out there. You just showed up at my house, standing on my porch and banging on my door like your life depended on it- and it seems it did. Ellen called me today while you were asleep.”

“Ellen? The owner of the bar I was at?”

Her workplace seems to set something off in Cas, a small almost unnoticeable waver in his voice and eyes, “Yes. She said some omega had gotten attacked and his name was Dean, she was worried that maybe I knew some of the alphas involved in the assault… Dean, what all happened to you?”

The omega stiffens, then bit his lip, voice a little bit above a whisper, “I was at the bar, just drinking a beer because I felt like I needed some vent or nerve-relaxer… John’s not going as easily as I thought and the fucking bastard’s taking his sweet time in dying. Anyways, I was at the bar and some alpha walks up to me and tells me I’m coming home with him and he's going to mount me- if I like it or not.”

“What else?” Cas’ voice is stern, his grip on the spatula turning white as he lets the words sink in and process. 

“I decide it’s time to go, and as I’m leaving he and some other fuck ups jump me before I made it to the Impala. If it wasn’t for Ellen I’m pretty sure I’d be in a whole lot worse shape than I am now.”

Castiel removes the food from the stove, turning it off and joining Dean by sitting in the bar stool beside him. He sighs, running a hand through his hair and closing his eyes. Dean can see how stressed his is, and how all of it’s over him. A pang of guilt hits Dean’s stomach, and he knows he can’t do anything about it.

 “Cas, if I’m causing too much drama or something I can-”

 "No.”

 Dean gapes at Cas, the alpha’s words stern and loud, vibrating off the house’s walls. Dean looks away, feeling as though he might of over crossed an invisible boundary.

 Cas pulls Dean’s face towards him by his jaw, fingers gentle and eyes soft, “Dean, you're not a burden. You never were, and never will be. The reason why I’m so pissed frankly is because all of these assholes keep thinking they can do shit like this to you without consequence. I was so worried last night Dean, you wouldn’t even let me touch or look at you. I thought you had finally had enough, and just saying that and thinking about how you looked last night- god dammit it’s frightening. I don’t want to lose you Dean- not when I just got you back.”

Dean smiles slightly, “Yea sorry about that… I just didn’t want anyone touching me and stuff… I feel kinda bad about that though…”

“You shouldn’t.” Cas smiles towards Dean, “How about you stay here awhile instead of you motel?”

Dean nods, “I’d like that.”

Cas accompanies Dean out to the Impala, impressed as the engine comes to life, vibrating the floorboards underneath his feet. Dean’s smirking as he whips out of the driveway, gravel flying from underneath the tires and Castiel laughing as he grips onto the dash for support. It doesn’t take them long to get to the motel- mainly because Dean was speeding.

They grab the very few items Dean owns, putting it into the single duffle. It’s a sad sight, but on the road for life meant you had to travel light. They just literally put his stuff in the trunk and head back to the house.

Dean can say he _almost_ has a home.

 

 

…

 

The call comes unexpectedly at three in the morning.

John’s finally dead.

Cas goes with Dean to the hospital, the dawn just beginning to form over Lawrence as the Impala goes down the asphalt. Dean’s quiet, probably will be for the rest of the day, and Castiel knows that this isn’t for him.

That even though John was horrible and a piece of shit- it’s still Dean’s father he’s got to bury- and he’s got no one left.

The radio is faintly playing: “ _Look, I’ve got some bad intentions- guilty as fucking charged_.” as they roll towards the hospital. After they get out of the car, Dean stops and stares at the sign for a moment, and Castiel can see he’s stalling. Dean looks towards him.

Maybe they both know he’s having a tough time with this.

It’s a silent request, but Cas immediately understands Dean, he walks over, intertwining their arms and having Dean lead him a little to John’s room.

When they see him, they’re shocked.

It’s obvious he’s dead, by the ten foot stare his glassy eyes are giving them, and the fact the machines are no longer beeping like Dean had left them. His forearm stiffens around Cas’. The alpha lets Dean lean on him, as Dean feels all the weight fall onto his shoulders. It’s a lot to deal with it- but Dean’s been avoiding it for years.

They watch as the doctors pull the sheet over him and wheel him away. The whole time Dean feels like the world is going to slip out from underneath his feet, that the things he’s seeing are just going to evaporate into dust and nothing more. He holds onto Cas more, his scent reminding him he’s still here- he’s still on Earth and somehow he’s still standing here in the hallway with his arm around his.

It remains that way through the funeral, the omega leaning onto Castiel’s shoulder and wishing the world would just stop spinning so fast on him. That maybe if Dean wills it enough the planet will halt on it’s axis and give him time to process all of the bullshit he’s been given. But then again it probably never would be that way.

As they’re leaving, the song from when they were driving to the hospital not-so-many nights ago comes on over the radio: “ _I might have been gone- but I never walked out_.”

Dean doesn’t think he could find truer words.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song 1: I Gave You All - Mumford and Sons
> 
> Song 2 (the one that repeated): Worry List - Blue October


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm really going to hell, aren't I?
> 
> No song this time- Dean's POV with more damn plot twists. Whoop!
> 
> MORE DRAMA IN THIS SHIT!
> 
> Thanks for all of the response! (:

* * *

 

Dean’s supposed to use the guest bedroom, but as he second day after John’s funeral comes to a close- the sheets still haven’t been slept in. The omega has grown fond of waking up to Cas’ arms over him, sometimes his name faintly whispered onto his back. It’s very pleasing, rather than waking up in a bed that seems too small and cold for him.

Chuck doesn’t mind Dean staying, in fact, is quite happy with it. He and Dean- after explaining the situation- hit it off again and it was like Dean never left. Because maybe he truly didn’t.

Some of the families stop seeing Castiel after they see Dean is living there. Dean could see why, an unbonded omega living under the same roof as an unbonded alpha. It was a mixture more annoying than oil and water to them. Either way, Cas didn’t make a fuss at the loss of the potential mates.

Other than that, Dean and Cas remained normal- or as close as they could get. Sometimes during the night, Dean would wake up shaking and breathless from a nightmare, his green eyes wide and arms tensed as he sat up and put his weight on them. Cas would calm him down, bring him back down to Earth- and it end up with Dean sleeping with his face in the crook of Castiel’s neck.

Damn alpha was now just as tall as him.

Either way, it was Dean’s second day here, it quickly turning into the third night as the sun goes behind the line of trees a few hundred feet away. The cicadas are dying down and the moon is faintly glowing in the sky when Dean and Cas are just walking around outside the house.

“Hey Dean-” Castiel looks over, seeing his friend look towards him, “I know this may sound pressing but- how long are you planning to stay in Lawrence now that the whole John situation is over?”

Dean hadn’t given it that much thought, “I have no idea…” he admits.

“Are you going to leave or are you going to- …”

“Stay?” Dean finishes.

Cas nods, “Yeah… I was just wondering, because you know… if you want there’s always a room open for-”

“Dude, yes.”

Cas is laughing now, and Dean finds himself joining him. It’s light, sweet, and ends with the sound of the leaves rustling above their heads. They finish their walk, going inside and getting dressed to sleep. They curl under the covers, Dean taking his usual spot in Castiel’s arms and he hums himself to sleep.

This time it isn’t the sound of Dean’s nightmare waking them up- it’s breaking glass.

Cas is out of the bed in seconds, Dean feeling the breath catch in his lungs as the smell of the alpha from the bar fills them. Castiel is growling now, and Dean’s worried. Worried that this is getting out of control way too fast- and Cas senses that, probably because Dean’s beginning to panic. He's biting his lip and hoping he isn't going to give their position away from his uneasy breathing.

“Look, I’m going to go downstairs, rip that damn alpha to shreds- and you’re gonna hide up here, okay?”

Dean nods, going inside the closet and hearing Cas shuffle down the stairs. Part of him wants to go down with him, he knows he should have. The nagging feeling in his gut isn’t subsiding and he just hopes it’s wrong or just the adrenaline talking. That maybe this is all some nightmare and Dean's going to wake up any moment and feel relief swamp him from the event being only a creation of his mind during the late hours of the night. It's a lot to wish for- but still Dean hopes, he waits- and he hears the fight going on downstairs every second he's inside the closet.

More broken glass, more yells. Things getting thrown and the sound of flesh hitting flesh. It's a sickening thing to hear behind a flimsy wooden door surrounded by t-shirts and jeans. 

Suddenly, Dean's jumping out of the closet and his fear running near mortifacation. 

It wasn’t those sounds or the cease of them that made the stairs fly beneath Dean’s feet as he rushes towards the kitchen- it’s the smell of fucking blood filling his nostrils. As Dean enters the wrecked room, all of the things inside strewn about from the struggle, he sees him. The alpha from the bar is snickering, blood on his hands and a blade in his fingers that's being twiddled around like some _toy_. It only takes a second for Dean to process the situation and react.

Dean knows that charging a man with a knife isn’t the best of ideas- but Dean Winchester always lived and went off on half-baked ideas. Some say it’s a fatal flaw, but Dean rolls with it. It seems this time that was what he was supposed to do, as he tackles the alpha and throws the blade onto the kitchen tiles.

Cas is nowhere to be seen, maybe because Dean’s throwing the alpha’s ass outside, rushing down the steps and kicking him hard enough in the ribs for a crack and cry from the alpha hit the air. He’s relentless, throws his face into the wood and gravel, curses and his anger spewing out of his mouth as the hit count keeps building. Dean let's all of his anger out on him- for trying to kidnap him at the bar, for making him feel violated. Maybe he's throwing some punches and lines in there aimed towards John, but it doesn't matter. There's a sick bastard lying between Dean's scuffed feet and he's going to make him fucking pay for what he's done.

Sirens are wailing in the distance, red and blue edging Dean’s vision as he keeps going- he’s probably in survival mode again but he doesn't care the slightest. All he can hear is the thumping beat of something like a war drum in his ears as it vibrates through his body and veins- all he can see are the limbs rushing around him, some even his still trying to hurt and attack the alpha that's being dragged away from him- head lolling to one side. It’s all a blur afterwards, but by the end he’s sitting on the porch steps with a blanket around him.

Dean’s stressed, wants Cas- who’s getting tended to in one of the ambulances, wants to just go the fuck back to bed as the police wheel out five other guys that are unconscious or wounded. Apparently, the alpha had brought some friends. Dean just huddles closer to himself under the bright orange shock blanket, trying to zero in on Castiel’s scent so he feels like he’s actually alive and not in some twisted version of reality. The omega's head is pounding and he's trying to process all that had just happened. People are whirring all around him as he just sits on the step, eyeing the ambulance Castiel's in for any sign the alpha is going to return to his side- where he fucking should be right now.

Dean nearly tackles Cas when he gets out of the ambulance, relief flooding over him as the familiar and calming scent wraps around him. He’s gotten stitches on his forearm, all red and swollen from how they were newly formed. A growl rises from Dean’s chest at the sight, but Castiel- the angel that he is- stops Dean from flipping some serious shit.

“Dean- it’s alright.” Cas puts a hand on Dean’s tensed frame, “It’s going to be okay.”

Dean puts his forehead to the crook of Castiel’s shoulders, breathing the scent he’d become so dependent on in the past few days. He feels sick- like he's about to vomit if he or the world doesn't stop moving, that his breath doesn't stay too long in his lungs and he just needs some time. Time to have Cas' arms wrap around him and hold him close while they both calm down and try to get back to normal life. Dean hums into the sweaty skin- the smell of blood and medical ointments filling his nostrils as it mixes with Cas' scent. It’s a small moment, because the police are pulling them both away from each other- even though Dean’s growling again and being set inside an ambulance to be evaluated.

His body feels like it’s on fire right now, and the only thing that can help him get through the scorching flames are Cas. He’s like lapping waves soothing the burn. Eyes whip towards him, and Cas is now growling ferociously at people around Dean. He's confused majorly as the police officers surround him and drag him away from Cas- the only damn thing Dean truly cares about and wants right now.

They put the omega in the back of a cop car and lock the doors, Dean cursing at them and fussing that there's no possible way of escape. For a moment, Dean thinks he might be going to jail- that somehow he’s committed a felony and is getting time in the slammer, maybe his years from leaving Kansas are catching up to him- but he sees Cas and all his doubts are thrown away. He’s trashing against people, his stitches starting to come undone under the bandages as the struggle continues, people trying to pin him down as he keeps fighting them. His eyes connect with Dean’s and he sees how feral they are.

It hits him in seconds.

Cas is after him. He’s in the cop car for _protection,_ from  _Cas._

Why is Cas trying to get to him? Why is he slowly but surely making his way towards the car and screaming “mine” at the top of his lungs?

Dean’s really fucking stupid sometimes, honestly.

He can smell it, the pheromones rolling off of him in waves, body trembling and the blanket around him too hot for his tastes. His clothes grit against his skin and make him shift uncomfortably. Dean’s in the throes of a damned heat.

Dean pushes his back into the upholstery as he sees the fighting going on, Cas’ eyes connecting with his several times and Dean cringes in the car. Cas- sweet and gentle Cas- is trying to force all of these people on him and get to Dean, and by the words being spat out at people and how Dean's supposed to be with Castiel are muffled by the glass and the flesh and cloth blocking him out. Dean can feel his breath blow back in face, sees it steam up the glass as he watches. It's a painful sight. To see someone so calm and collected before look like they're an animal because of what's happening around them- it's a lot to bare. Especially when it's Cas.

Eventually, they give a sedative to Castiel, his body slumping against the several police officers and medical personnel surrounding him.

The blanket around Dean’s shoulders is wound tighter, even as they rush around him and take a drugged alpha up the porch steps. Dean’s eyes connect with Castiel’s one last time, but now the usual blue he’s come to know and he remembered is returning- and he looks like he’s mouthing Dean’s name sluggishly as he’s dragged back inside. The opposite direction Dean wants him to be going.

Dean hopes that things won’t be fucked up from now on.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this ch. is so short, that there's no song, and I did only a small Castiel POV- but I promise the next ch. will deliver.
> 
> I'd like to take a quick moment and thank all of the people who think this story is worth reading/following- this means a lot! Thank you so much guys! (:

* * *

 

 

Castiel’s head is pounding when he wakens. His vision is a tad blurry, and his stomach lurches when he moves too much. The most the alpha can remember is the alpha that was after Dean- who Castiel recognized to be Michael- attacking them. Castiel nearly flung himself off the mattress with how fast he sat up, fear rushing into his as he realized Dean was gone.

Apparently, the pain in his head didn’t like that- and Castiel vomited in a small trash can beside his bed before sinking into the mattress and groaning. He looks over, a glass of water and a few pills on the bedside table.

“Castiel-” Chuck enters the room, “how are you feeling?”

After he finishes the glass of water and swallows his pills, he replies, “Better… What happened?”

Chuck sets his mouth in a firm line, sits down beside his son and places a hand on his back, “Well- Michael had brought a few of his friends to get Dean-o back for the whole bar fight… Afraid that near the end of it all of them had to get sent to the hospital and jail.”

“What about Dean? Is he okay?” Castiel feels his concern pricking his voice.

“He’s fine, yes… Just- busy. He went into a false heat after the attack was over- you two were really wild out there- especially you kiddo.”

Castiel tilts his head, “Wild? …”

Chuck smiles, a laugh brewing in his chest, “You went all alpha out on everyone. They had to sedate you before anything could be done about Dean. He’s at a doctor right now getting checked out. Dean should be fine.”

Castiel sinks into his mattress- out of relief and embarrassment. Not only did he act like some barbaric animal, he had even gone as far as having to be sedated. His salvia is a little hard to swallow as his father leaves.

The alpha’s left alone in his room, the windows open and the warm breeze and sounds from outside filter into the room. The smells are assaulting his nose, too strong and overbearing after just puking a few minutes earlier. Instead, Castiel shoves his face into the mattress, and finds the scent there more comforting and easy to take.

Dean.

He underneath the covers. The only thing he can do is to wait for the painkillers to take effect and for Dean to come back- if he does. The alpha is scared that Dean doesn’t want to come back after all that’s happened, thinks that maybe he’s going to bury himself into a hole and never come back out to see daylight again. Castiel feels guilty- for Michael finding him and Castiel not being able to keep him safe, that when Dean expected him to support him his mind went to his dick and he tried mounting him with all of the Lawrence police force and EMT’s present. He groans, shoving his face into the sheets and yelling at himself mentally for finding so much clarity in Dean’s vague scent.

The alpha nearly goes for using his window as an exit as he hears the Impala roll up to the house, his feet carrying him to the door when common sense strikes him. Dean probably doesn’t want to see him, more than likely will punch him square in the face as soon as he sees him again. Instead, Castiel waits as he goes back up into his room.

“Where’s Cas?” Dean asks from downstairs, his voice muffled by the distance.

“Upstairs.” Chuck seems amused, and Castiel decides he’ll kill him later for that.

Castiel’s heart is beating in his ears as Dean’s shoes connect with the wooden stairs. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do, what he’s going to say- how in the hell he’s supposed to explain how sorry he is to Dean for all of the past events in the span of thirty-six hours. As his door opens, Castiel think he might pass out.

“Cas?” Dean’s nervous, maybe as much as Castiel is- as he rubs the back of his neck as their eyes avoid each other.

“Dean.”

There’s a moment of all that they’re not saying, but Dean somehow manages to speak, “About what happened last night, Cas… I want you to know-”

“It’s fine,” Castiel hangs his head, staring at his fingers rather than the questioning green eyes in front of him, “I understand if you want to leave Lawrence now and never come back- to leave me and never see me again. It’s rational- considering Michael still found you and I lost control of myself… You deserve better than that, Dean.”

The omega is silent for a moment, and for the biggest surprises or things Castiel never expects- Dean sits down beside him. He’s tense, his breathing a little uneasy, but the action speaks thousands of words that are both lost to them at the moment. Castiel smirks a little, and he feels a relief and gratefulness sweep him so hard he’s nearly pushed to tears. Instead, he just looks towards Dean with an expression that he hopes gives him all the right things he can’t even think of stringing together. Dean seems to get the message.

It’s like nothing ever happened that night between them- or if there’s something still remaining from it, they choose to ignore it and move on.

There’s still something they hadn’t expected.

Apparently the subject of Chuck’s invitation for any interested families has gone unnoticed and forgotten- because suddenly one morning there’s all these cars are lining the driveway and people are all around the porch. The sound of them talking is nearly deafening. Castiel hopes that it’ll be over soon, as he sees all the eyes on him and people staring at Dean as they walk down the stairs together.

God, Chuck’s going to be the death of him.

The party or “event”- Castiel really isn’t enjoying it as much as he thought he would at first- starts off with all of these omegas surround him. The girls are batting their eyelashes, twirling their skirts or dresses around as if Castiel is supposed to be turned on by swaying fabric. The perfumes that enhance their scents make him nearly gag on his champagne. Male omegas are easier for him to process however, they’re straight to the point with him and they are all just wearing suits that seems to blend together in Castiel’s mind.

A girl walks up to Castiel, her brown hair curled and hips swaying provocatively as she approaches him, “Hello sexy.”

“Nice to meet you.” Castiel’s tone is flat and unamused.

“My name’s Meg- Meg Masters. I heard you’re having a little party here because you’re looking for a mate.”

Castiel almost rolls his eyes, “Isn’t that obvious?”

Meg chuckles, “Cheer up, Clarence-”

“Clarence?”

She snorts, “Alright, handsome then, if that’s more acceptable. What I was going to say is that you should be happy. This party is about meeting the one, right? Well- you’re not going to impress them with that attitude.”

“Maybe I already met them tonight- and I don’t have to worry if I made a memorable introduction.”

“Good to know, sweetie,” she smirks, “how about I make mine?”

Next thing Castiel knows her lips are pressed to his.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another ch. since the update today was so short.  
> This time in Dean's POV and more plot n' shit.
> 
> SHIT GOES DOWN.
> 
> Plus there's a song. Name in end notes. (There's also a link in the actual story just in case you want to listen to it while the scene is going on.)
> 
> Anyways, I promise that this should be just as hurtful to your feels.  
> I'm seriously going to hell for this fic.  
> Ah well.

* * *

 

Dean hated this fucking party.

All of these omegas are swarming around him and he feels as though he’s drowned out. His baby is barely even visible from the porch, so many cars and people around her Dean can barely make out the roof. He grits his teeth, sitting on the porch steps and seething by himself. Most of the people are either inside trying to get in Castiel’s dress pants or outside waiting for their turn. To Dean, it’s disgusting.

Revolting even.

The beer in his hands is warming, the day ticking into the afternoon as the number of people only seems to remain constant. The omega on the steps doesn’t want them to be here, not a single damn one of them- and decides he’s going to tell Cas the party’s over early.

But he stops as soon as he’s in the doorway.

There’s some female omega, pulling on the lapels of Castiel’s suit and pressing his lips to hers. She’s pretty, her hair almost as dark as Cas’ as she slots herself closer and flicks her tongue across the bottom of Cas’ mouth.

Dean’s stomach convulses, a burning rising in his throat. His heart stammers in his chest and all the oxygen leaves his lungs as he forgets how to even fucking breath. All he can do is stand and watch- watch as Cas pulls away and somehow, in the sea of people talking and and watching as Cas rejects the omega- their eyes met.

And it’s painful.

In fact, fucking paralyzing. Dean’s whipping around and out of the door as he rushes towards the Impala. He doesn’t care- even as Cas yells for him to stop as Dean pulls the keys from his pocket and gets inside the car. Tires scrape against the gravel, sending rocks flying and people darting out of the way while Dean just floors it out of there.

He needs something. He figures it might be a beer- maybe even a whole bottle of vodka to down as he sits in a vacant corner of a roadhouse somewhere with Cas far from him and his mind. Instead, as he pulls up to some bar he saw driving into Lawrence about almost two weeks ago- he decides something else would do.

 

 

 

[(--play song link now--)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOl4oeHZnBk)

Dean fixes himself up a little, and tries to get himself as horny as he possibly can in the Impala before busting through the doors like he owns the damn place- because he does. As the omega enters, heads whip around and eyes dilate towards him as he smirks, winking and taking a seat in one of the bar stools.

He hears whistles, knows eyes are on him, and orders himself alcohol. In moments, the bartender is having drink orders spewed his way to be given to Dean, and the omega loves it. A few alphas take the empty stools around him as his pheromones fill the air.

When Dean’s drink arrives, he decides he’s really going to do this- as he puts the straw into the amber liquid. The breaths in the room are strained as Dean places the straw to his lips, sucking and moaning as the burn hits his throat and mouth, even adding a flare by running his tongue in a circle around the end as he swallows.

An alpha actually _faints_ in the corner.

“ _Where you’re from- you sexy thing?_ ” plays over through the bar and Dean smiles at the ironic song placement. (not sorry, guys.)

It’s a bit of a blur, but eventually Dean’s at the side of the bar with two alphas scenting him. He’s thoroughly pleased, his skin being licked and pulled on by tongues and teeth- his body heating as it enters a bonding heat (it always does when Dean’s getting jiggy, but usually he’s embarrassed by it). His moans and gasps are splitting through the air as the alphas push him into the brick wall and he bucks his hips as he chants them on, voice sounding so pleading and broken. Dean’s requests are eagerly met.

“Get the fuck off him.” A voice, deep and booming making the alphas and omega jump.

When Dean feels the fingers and breaths leave his heated skin, he turns to see Castiel glaring at the offending alphas as though they're dog shit that got smeared onto his dress shoe. He growls, and it makes Dean’s chest vibrate with it’s power and volume from several feet away. The other alphas are off of him and leaving in seconds.

“Dean-” Cas is still angry, a little less so now that Dean is by himself- even though he’s still turned on and breathing roughly against the wall, “what the fuck are you doing?”

“What’s it to you?” Dean spat.

Castiel seems to be holding himself back, his muscles tensed and eyes stern as he glares at Dean as if the answer was obvious, “What’s it to me? You in a damn bar- getting frisked by complete strangers like it’s nothing!”

The omega’s eyes narrow, “So!? You’re fucking kissing all those people at the party- is it not okay if someone else other than you gets to just fuck anything?!”

“Is this-” Cas makes a expression and huff of disbelief- “is this over the kiss Meg forced me into? Dean- she kissed me! You think I wanted that?”

“Maybe you did!”

“You’re acting like a damn child-”

“Maybe it’s because no one’s as grown up as you- look, I’m Castiel! I know everything and I’ve got the biggest knot in the world- how spot on am I?”

Cas narrows his eyes, “That’s fucking low of you, Dean!”

Dean returns the hostility, “Yeah well- I guess you can say I’ve got a reason to kick you in the damn balls right now!”

“Why? Because some omega kissed me without my permission!?”

“Maybe because I came back to Lawrence and I expected nothing to come out of it-” Dean’s voice is beginning to waver but he continues anyways, “that I was supposed to bury John and just fucking leave again. I never expected to end up going down your driveway and pressing your doorbell, to be going to you when all of the shit in my life came crumbling down on me and I had no one else. All of that- for you to just go off and forget that I’m even there! I was sitting outside on the porch by myself and feeling like I just disappeared all over again. Then I walk in and see this- what the fuck am I supposed to do Cas, what!?”

Castiel stops and stares at Dean, his anger and response catching in his throat as the omega stares at him. The air around him is still too hot, he’s too horny to be fighting- but dammit Cas has got to get the message.

The alpha’s eyes soften a little, “Dean I-”

“What? You’re sorry, you didn’t want this to happen? You deserve an award for your consideration, dude.”

“Dean- I’m being serious.”

“So am I!”

Castiel snorts, “Sometimes I really wonder why I try with you.”

Dean balls his fingers into tight fists, “Why? Because I’m six shades of fucked up? I’m broken beyond all repair? That maybe you’re finding someone who you think is worth your time more and isn’t as damaged? All people come with baggage Cas- some just more so than others. So I’m fucking sorry if things that are out of my control are such a problem for you and your tight schedule!”

“That isn’t what I meant Dean, and you know it! Stop twisting my words so I can fucking feel guilty about something I didn’t do! Maybe you should take a damn second and think about someone other than yourself for a change!”

Dean zeros in on him, getting up into his face, “Fuck you Castiel Novak- for trying to even make me think that you cared- when all along you were no better than John.”

He turns away, and Castiel tries following him, but Dean stops him short, “Just fucking stop it… If you even try looking for me, or call me up on the phone pleading and begging then just hang up before the first ring or turn around. Just forget it- forget me altogether. As soon as I cross that city line and pass that damned sign again- I’ll be out of your life and worries. So don’t even bother with trying to fix this, because it’s beyond repair.”

Dean walks towards the Impala, opening the door as Castiel just stands in the parking lot looking utterly lost, “And maybe-” he chuckles without humor, “I don’t want it to be fixable.”

The omega slams the door to the Impala, revving the engine and flooring it. His tires screeched against the asphalt as he watches Cas stare at him as he speeds off again. As Dean goes at least twenty over the limit- he feels like he can’t fucking stop himself from just losing it.

Dean does as he once again passes the words: _Lawrence, Kansas._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Name: You Sexy Thing ( I Believe in Miracles ) - Hot Chocolate


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 5 year anniversary Destiel! (;
> 
> Either way, things get fixed. Yay.
> 
> Go me. (no smut, things are just forgiven, but the smut shall be amazing so yes...)
> 
> ENJOY!~

* * *

 

 

  
_This is the start of my greatest fear-_   
_I’m all packed up, getting out of here._   
_Then you call me and tell me not to go-_   
_that I’m the one who put the Rock N Roll, in your life._

  
_This is the starting of a brand new day-_   
_I never liked this town much, anyways._   
_I need the city like I need the rain-_   
_know that somewhere there’s a northbound train._

  
_Oh I’ll-_   
_make it without you-_   
_make it without you._   
_Though it’s my body laying here,_   
_it’s my mouth that must be lying out._

 

Dean is trying his hardest to make it on his own right now. His tires are still flying down the highway as he speeds away from Lawrence, and there’s tears streaming down his fucking face from leaving Cas and the pain of seeing that damn omega kiss him. The words Cas said stinging his mind and causing him to just lose himself more.

A few miles after the sign is behind him, Dean has to stop so he can literally let all of the shit he’s feeling out. He throws open the door and just lays on the side of the road and sobs. Sure- it seems like something you’d see in a chick flick, or something that is probably fiction (the irony) rather than reality.

However, soon he’s pulling himself up off the dry grass and brushing the dirt of himself. The tears make his face sticky and puffy, the whole sensation irritating him before he makes it to the very first motel he sees. He parks, gives the owner a hundred dollars, and just goes into the room. It’s not the best, but it’s certainly better because the Impala doesn’t have a shower he can huddle himself in.

 

  
_This is the starting of my fall from grace-_   
_self-esteem, oh it’s seen better days._   
_You’ll know I’ll never let this go to waste-_   
_I’ll keep his memory on the map I trace,_   
_back to home._

  
_Friends go out-_   
_while I’ve been staying in._   
_Know that’s bad but that’s the way it’s been._

  
_I never cared much for the taste of gin,_   
_still don’t now but it’s been helpin’._

Dean just lays in the bed and stares at the ceiling. He needs to move on, needs to forget all about Lawrence, Kansas and Castiel Novak. That he left his old life behind again and he’s starting anew. But Dean can’t.

He can’t do it.

As the seconds go into minutes, minutes into hours, and hours going into the faint dawn of morning- Dean realizes he can’t rid himself of Castiel. The alpha has thoroughly planted himself in Dean’s mind, and he can’t get him the fuck out. No matter how much his heart is breaking right now, or how hard his grip is on the itchy comforter between his fingers, Cas stays in his damn mind.

The omega flips, turns, ruffles the sheets and has his clothes stick to his back. He’s an idiot, for one just running out without a plan- and two for literally leaving all of his damn clothes and belongings in Cas’ fucking room. He’s sure he’s going to be tired, that is he doesn’t sleep now he might just wind up stuck in the motel room forever.

As Dean takes in the grimy walls and faded carpeting and it’s questionable beds- he realizes how much he hated his life while he was on his own too. That he really wanted to wake up in the morning and not worry about where in the hell he’d go next, if he had enough money to get a room for a night- if he was even safe. The sunlight begins to turn the room an unsatisfying blue color when he gets up out of the bed and hops right back into the Impala.

He’s angry, frustrated, and feels like punching something till his knuckles bleed or break. He finds the nearest bar, parking the Impala outside and and slams the door open. Dean orders himself the most expensive drink the menu has to offer, and he sits and waits.

Suddenly, there’s an alpha sitting next to Dean and he’s sliding a drink towards him, “You seem like you need a good time.”

“Thanks for noticing.”

The alpha chuckles, “Name’s Greg.”

Dean turns towards him, and decides that fuck it- he’ll go along with it, “I’m Dean.”

After a few drinks, Greg’s leading Dean into the bedroom of his house, and the omega feels his heart pounding in his ears as he hears the door shut behind him. He’s doing this- he’s really doing this. Greg presses his lips to Dean, throwing his back against the floor. It’s rough- rougher than Dean usually allows it to get- but dammit he’s angry and maybe sex will be the best way to get it out of his system. He bites back, hungry and grasping onto the neckline of Greg’s v-neck. Things are getting heated really quickly, and Dean’s finding Greg’s hands dropping to the hem of his jeans. Dean stiffens.

This isn’t what he needs- what he wants.

It seems like a dick move to bring someone so close as to believing you want to sleep with them- but when Dean’s mind connects with his body’s rejection of the idea, he realizes how much he needs to leave. He barely even fucking knows Greg.

“Something wrong?” Greg asks, resting his arms to the sides of Dean’s head.

The omega swallows, “Yeah uhh- I don’t think- I don’t think I want to do this anymore…”

“You think?”

Dean feels adrenaline rush through his spine as Greg’s tone sinks in, “Take that back- I know.”

Greg growls, “What the fuck? You were willing ten seconds ago!”

“Well I’m not now so get the fuck off of me!”

When Greg doesn’t comply, and starts to pull down the denim resting at Dean’s hips- the omega snaps. He’s throwing his fist straight at the corner of Greg’s jaw, connecting and making the alpha cry out in pain and fall back. Dean pushes away from him with his legs, kicking him in the ribcage and jumping up and making a run for the door. Fingers curl around his throat and strains his windpipe, and Dean put his hands on the clenched forearms.

“Why don’t you stay a little longer?” Greg hisses.

Dean struggles, Greg not letting up and tightening even more. In seconds, Dean’s on the floor and fists are connecting with his face. His gasps from pain are reaching the air but they go unheard to the alpha above him. Dean grabs his fist, pushing back and flipping himself till he’s on top of Greg. He puts his hands over his throat, grabbing the pocket knife from his waistband- which he’s grateful he has now- and presses it to the skin below.

“You ever try to touch me again and I’ll have no problem slitting your throat.”

Dean gets up, feels the blood trickle off his face and onto his shirt and jacket. His legs somehow carry into the Impala, and soon he’s driving. Dean doesn’t know where- doesn’t care. He’s done, and as the world passes by out his windows as the speedometer keeps climbing, he wonders if he’s been that way for some years.

He doesn’t realize what he’s doing as an all too familiar house appears before him.

The porch light flies on, Dean falling out of the Impala and he spits blood out onto the gravel. He crawls up, his breath in his lungs burning and the rocks digging into his skin as he hears his named yelled into the early morning air. He feels the hands pull him up.

Dean nearly cries when he sees Castiel’s eyes again.

“Cas-” the omega’s voice is shaky and hoarse, “I’m so sorry…”

Cas comes over and picks him up bridal style, “Dean…”

Dean lets his head fall onto his shoulder and holds onto the fabric of Cas’ t-shirt between his bloody fingers, the gray fabric turning crimson as Dean sees the porch steps and railing fly past. Cas has his grip on Dean’s legs and torso tight as he carries him up the stairs and into his bedroom again.

“Cas-”

“Dean it’s okay.” Cas is grabbing things out of his bathroom and setting them on the sheets beside the omega, “I’m just going to fix up all of your wounds.”

Dean’s sure that there’s been tears streaming down his face, because the blood doesn’t feel as sticky and his face feels damp- but he’s not certain. Instead, he let’s the alpha wipe away the clotting blood on his face. Cas growls sometimes, but it’s low and more to himself as he uncovers cuts and bruises. It’s kind of like what happened with John’s work all those years ago.

“I’m a dumbass.” Dean says, eyeing the amount of reddened tissues on the comforter that are still piling up on themselves, “I’m so sorry Cas…”

“Dean, it’s fine- it’s all fine.” He looks solemn, and if Dean didn’t feel any guiltier for what he’s done then may God smite him now.

The omega bites his split lip, reopening it again, “But what I did Cas- don’t you hate me? …”

Castiel’s expression and eyes soften, “I could never feel that way about you, Dean. Ever.”

“Even after what I did?” Dean sounds so unsure- because he is, “Even after I ran away, twice. Even after I told you to basically get the fuck out of my life when you’ve been the only good thing to ever happen to me?”

“Of course.”

Dean breaths out in relief, and he feels like he’s on the verge of tears once again, “Cas, what did I do to deserve you?”

The answer isn’t needed. They both know. It’s obvious that they both need each other, and if the dependency isn’t said it is at least felt by the two of them. No matter what the do, what they say or might think- they’ll probably always end up right back at each other’s side attached to the hip.

They fall asleep under the covers, Cas’ arms wrapped around Dean as the omega falls asleep with his favorite scent and body wrapped around him.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Name: Make It Without You - Andrew Belle


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SEXUAL EVENTS HAPPEN IN THIS CH. GO AWAY UNLESS YOUR INTO THAT STUFF.  
> KIDDOS.
> 
> No song this time- but smut makes up for it, doesn't it?  
> No more torturing or whatever- and be grateful. I could be like some demented chick and kill them off without a bat of an eyelash- but I'm not. Good grief.
> 
> Also, this is probably going to be completed soon, not joking. Maybe 1 or 2 more ch. and then it's complete.
> 
> Thank you so much for your support/response/and reading this bullshit- I love you all!
> 
> NOW GET TO THE FUCKING STORY.

* * *

 

 

Castiel stared at Dean’s slack face before him, and he still can’t believe his eyes. Dean came back, once again- what was this, the third or second time? (seriously guys, I can’t remember) Castiel runs a finger down his jawline and goes into his hair, gently stroking the soft downy- dirty-blonde he finds to be pleasing on his fingertips. It’s at least seven in the morning now, and the sun glints off of the ends of Dean’s eye lashes and makes the alpha smile.

Dean scrunches his face, the bruises and scabs all too evident for Castiel’s tastes, and pulls Castiel closer by his shirt, sinking his face into the fabric and sighing in his sleep. He wraps his arms around the omega, pulling him close and breathing in his scent.

He really thought Dean was gone after he sped off from the bar- that he’d decided he hated Castiel and he really was no better than John. All of his anger over it faded just like Dean’s taillights as he drove away with him standing in the parking lot. But Dean showing up out of the blue barely even able to walk, tears and blood coating his face and his broken voice groaning Castiel’s name as he crawls across the gravel. It was a heartbreaking scene for the alpha, and he only pulls Dean closer as the birds chip outside his window.

…

“Cas? …”

The alpha opens his eyes, blinking away the afternoon sun as Dean stirs beside him. He’s grimacing, and Castiel guesses he’s probably sore as hell from yesterday- even though Castiel has no idea what happened. He’ll let Dean tell him when he’s ready.

“Yes, Dean?”

The omega shuffles and sighs, closing his eyes, “Can we just stay in bed all day?”

Castiel smiles, “If you want to.”

Dean comes closer, putting his head underneath Castiel’s jaw, “It’s more like need…”

The alpha ponders for a moment, about how his life sort of led to this moment. With the midday sun rays flowing in from the windows and Dean nuzzling his neck and humming some Led Zeppelin song. It was perfect, like something you’d see in a book or movie that people dreamed about. He pulled the comforter over their shoulders and he could feel the smile on Dean’s lips pressed onto his neck.

“Cas…” Dean played with some of the fabric of Castiel’s tee, “You’re probably wondering what happened aren’t you? …”

The alpha nods slightly, “I have been wondering- but I figured you can tell me whenever… I didn’t want to push you away.”

“You couldn’t do that even if you tried your hardest, idiot…” Dean smiles a little against his flesh and chuckles, “Besides, I really don’t think I’m going anywhere.”

Castiel nearly breaths wrong, “W-What?”

The omega only laughs more at Castiel’s stammer, “Well- when I was gone and leaving I had run into some other alpha along the way.”

Castiel stiffens.

“It’s okay…” Dean places a hand on his clenched forearm and continues, “What happened was I met him in a bar and one thing led to another and… well- I guess you know what I’m talking about.”

A low growl rises in Castiel’s chest, but Dean doesn’t say anything about it, “I was angry and upset with you, and I guess my way of getting all the frustration out was to fuck some random guy who’d hit on me with alcohol… I was stupid, and I realized that right before we did anything.”

The alpha’s grip and muscles relax, a small and silent huff of relief escaped him and Dean only shuffles closer.

“When I told him no- he flipped out on me and we started fighting. Asshole tried to mount me the whole time- but I made it clear I wasn’t going to be. Even had to use my pocket knife… And that’s when I ran again… Isn’t that what I do best, run away from my problems and expect everything to end up okay?”

“Dean, that’s not true. You left John because you were in danger the whole time, I don’t blame you for that-”

Dean looks up a little from Castiel’s torso and it silences him, those green eyes churning with turmoil, “But that doesn’t count for the time I left you in that parking lot. Cas, I realized how fucking dumb I was- how selfish I was being. And yes, it took some random fucking asshole to beat the shit out of me but I still got the point of it. The whole drive back I was hoping to God you’d still let me back in your life, even after I pushed you away and told you to stay out. I don’t deserve you- but that doesn’t mean a damn thing. I need you, Cas. I found that out lying on a motel bed wondering what the fuck I was supposed to do- to go, and all I could think about was you. Dammit- you’ve probably been the only damn good thing to happen to me and I’m the biggest prick on the planet and in the universe for not noticing sooner how much I was fucking this up, and that I want to be beside you like this. Cas- I just- I don’t think I can make it on my own anymore… at least not without you there with me.”

Castiel is about to stammer, in fact- make that about to be speechless. As the last syllable rolls off of Dean’s tongue and the omega looks back up into to Castiel’s gaze, he notices how sincere he’s being. Dean said he needed Cas- said he wanted him- and is now staring at him like he hung the fucking moon over his head, that he’s the reason for the four seasons and the Earth spins on it’s own and around the sun. It’s a lot to take in, that’s obvious- but a lot is with the two of them. Instead Castiel does something else that’s a mouthful- literally.

He presses his lips to Dean’s.

At first, the omega is startled, and even yelps a little- but soon after the initial thought is processed, he’s moving his mouth in sync with Castiel’s and he’s sliding himself closer. Dean hums against the quickly flushing flesh as Castiel wraps an arm around Dean’s hips and lifts his leg over them. Dean bites his lower lip, pulling downward as his back finds purchase on the mattress. His eyes are staring hungrily at Castiel, the alpha quickly noticing how heated this whole situation is getting.

Then it hits him: Dean’s been in fucking heat this whole time.

The omega chuckles as Castiel realizes the biggest thing he could ever miss, and gasps almost right afterwards as Castiel rolls his hips. Castiel feels Dean’s hands run up his shirt and the pads of his fingers roaming over the lean muscles they find there, and the alpha growls.

“ _Mine!_ ” He hisses, Dean’s moans splitting the air as Castiel sucks on the lobe of his right ear.

The omega’s spine arches up into his torso, and he calls out Castiel’s name in a needy tone that only encourages him more. The skin he finds pulsing underneath his teeth makes the possessive growls continue, his hands making quick work to rid all of the clothes away from their skin. Dean’s calling out his name, wrapping his bare legs around Castiel’s waist and-

_FUCK!_

Castiel has to hold onto Dean for a moment when he feels the omega’s hips roll against his. When he looks up, Dean is watching him, eye half-lidded and most of the green that was confused earlier it replaced with the pupil.

“Are you sure you want to bond? Because-”

“Yes!” Castiel hisses.

Dean hasn’t smelled this fucking good since the night of Michael’s attack- the night he was about to get in a threesome in a bar’s alleyway- since he fucking left Cas all those years ago. It’s enveloping him, his heart pounding faster and breath quickening to take more of it in. Dean’s below him, licking and nipping onto the flesh he can manage to touch as Castiel moves like wind blowing outside the windows.

“Cas!” Dean cries out, holding onto him tighter and tighter as he keep pushing and sucking on the heated skin of Dean’s neck.

The growl that comes from him is completely feral, and so is how he continues with Dean- he wished he could go slow, wishes that he could make the first time special- but with how much Dean is moaning and the absurd volume he’s getting, Castiel thinks he doesn’t mind one bit either. The alpha keeps going, licking the appearing sweat on Dean’s neck and praising the taste on his tongue as his hips keep bucking. Dean’s voice is hoarse now, and he’s got his head thrown back against the pillows with his neck completely open for Castiel’s claim.

And so he bites.

Castiel’s not sure what happened within the five minutes that had passed when he mind is actually able to function again- as the stars leave his vision and Dean sighs below him. He looks pleased, content- even. He even pulls Castiel down and licks his neck like a mate would-

Holy shit Castiel and Dean are now mated.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONGRATS GUYS- YOU FUCKING MADE IT.
> 
> I added a little smut and a surprise for you guys for being so horrible to you... I'm sorry. (not)
> 
> Anyways, I plan to add several more Destiel fics onto this in a bit- so stayed tuned if you are interested.
> 
> THANK YOU TO ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WHO SUPPORTED/READ/AND RESPONDED TO THIS- THE FEEDBACK WAS AMAZING!
> 
> ENJOY!~

* * *

 

“You two did what?!” Chuck’s mouth is agape.

“We uh…” Cas rubs the back of his neck, “We mated.”

Dean smiles awkwardly, his neck still bandaged from their rough sex they had just hours earlier- and more than likely will be interacted with since his heat just started. Chuck just, sighs, placing his reading glasses onto the table and rubbing his forehead.

Cas tilts his head, “Something… wrong, dad?”

Chuck just looks up and smiles slightly, “Nothing- just owe some people now since I lost the bet.”

“Bet?” The couple asks in unison.

“Some of the old bastards and I called dibs on when you guys would mate. I was wrong by one day, dammit.”

Dean laughs, and Cas just seems horrified- but the omega doesn’t blame him for feeling like that.

Other than that, Chuck is actually happy that Dean and Cas finally got over their differences and mated, in fact- even gives them a bottle of wine and winks as he says he’s going to be on vacation for two weeks. It seems like he really did plan this whole bonding thing out- but it’s amazing because as soon as he’s out of the door, Dean’s itch and body start up again.

Castiel is above him now, growling as he pushes Dean’s body further into the cushions while the omega screams with pleasure. It’s like no other sex he’s had before- even in heat- and as his alpha works his body in all the right ways he can’t help but cry out from the sensation. It seems that Cas likes that very much.

“Fuck- Cas!” Dean gasps, biting onto his lip as his mate laps some of the blood from the re-opened bond wound, humming as the crimson soaks onto his tongue and lips, turning them a cherry red color.

Dean stretches himself more, keening his neck as far as possible and lifting his hips for Cas to take advantage of- and he does. Soon every thrust is making him shudder and his body is starting to tingle like he’s got electrified wires attached to his skin- and he loves every second of it.

Soon, he’s gasping out Castiel’s name as loud as his lungs can manage, buckling underneath him as his sweaty skin suctions itself to the leather couch. Cas follows soon after that, and Dean decides the look on his face was better than any ones he’s seen while he had sex or when he imagined it during some of the rougher, lonelier nights. They’re gasping, shaking, and each other’s names are on the verge of the dry lips.

“I don’t know how we’re going to get through a week of this…” the omega says, his breath slowing some of his words.

“We’ll make it-” Cas smirks and it sends a rush of arousal down Dean’s spine at how low his voice gets and the darkened tone of his eyes, “trust me.”

**…**

It seems, they did make it- as Dean places a hand on his stomach that’s barely beginning to seem like there’s a child inside of it. His grin is wide and apparent, as the smell of tea and coffee reach his nose when the snow falls outside the window.

They have the house to themselves now, Chuck finding Mexico really enjoyable and nice- buying himself a home there and telling them they didn’t have to worry about it anymore. Sure, Castiel missed him sometimes- but it could be corrected with a single phone call or webcam chat.

As the cold wooden floor presses against the heels of Dean’s feet, he smiles. It’s funny really- that all these years ago Lawrence, Kansas was the bane of his existence, and now- it’s the place where he’s his happiest. The grin only widens as he feels Cas slide into bed next to him and place a gentle hand on the growing baby bump.

“How are you guys doing?”

“Fine,” Dean snuggles his back into Cas’ torso and sighs in content, “little guy’s happy to see you.”

Cas chuckles, “You’re only four months pregnant Dean, he can’t respond to you like that yet-”

“Well I know because I’m the one with a kid in my stomach, okay? Either way- who couldn’t be pleased to see you?”

The alpha presses a kiss to the side of his mate’s head, “That’s a nice thought… Either way, I’m just content with having the two of you in my life now.”

“The same. I love you.”

Cas pulls his head from his jawline and presses his lips gently against Dean’s, “And I love you more than you can ever imagine.”

Dean smiles as he closes his eyes, the sound of cars pushing the mush away with their tires muffled by the window as the snow settles on the hardened ground of Lawrence- and for first time in his life, Dean really doesn’t mind that he’s here one bit.


End file.
